Its easy to get caught up in any area of the world’s suffering. Especially for me. I love to help, I love to hear people’s stories regardless of how much suffering is involved. It fascinates me to imagine what another person’s reality is and the more that I expose myself to, interweaving them and layering them in my mind makes up for my lack of world travel. Or so it seems.
Yesterday morning, after a night of minimal sleep and a lot of Lucas’ crying I woke up feeling a bit raw, numb, and highly fragile. I mostly attributed this to a strong yoga practice the night before wherein I realized about an hour into it that I was dehydrated and in need of a more nutritious diet. [Read: the cookies I ate for dinner the night previous weren’t cutting it. Shocker.]
When I woke, and after Lucas’ father came to take him for the day, I was left with myself. Which always seems to be what I am yearning for when the house is full of noise and chaos, but sometimes, as it was yesterday, I feel a bit lonesome and point-less when Lucas leaves.
Lucas, and the world, are easy for me to become fully immersed in. They’re beautiful, fascinating, and I find a lot of joy in witnessing their beauty and the miracle of their existence. Yet yesterday morning I came to remember, while I grounding myself in a bath, that in my Angels and in God/dess’s eyes, I am just as beautiful and a miracle worthy of all of my energy and focus. Even if it means moving very slowly, softly, and weeping occasionally. As I lay on my back in the tub I said out loud, “I pray to put into myself that which I give to others. As myself, I am the Universe. If I am to love her fully, so then must I love myself.”
But here’s what got me the most. I realized that all of the attention and energy I put towards healing our Earth and others is moot if my self-care is not equal to or greater than that which I give. Otherwise, its like telling the Universe a lie. When we give more to others than we give to ourselves, it says, ‘I value life- just not my own.’ How can the two truths exist simultaneously? They can’t.
This thought allowed me cry a sweet and pure, cleansing and grounding release. Which allowed me to come back into myself and my hearts center without any judgement and I could feel it pouring into the Earth at the same time. This visualization and realization now gives me a greater sense of ownership and responsibility in my roles to provide for my son and planet. Which ultimately is what my seeking outside of myself was intended for. This gives new depth to finding what we’re looking for in the last place we look now doesn’t it.
Truly, this isn’t the first time I have needed to remind myself of these truths, but health and life has a way of dancing back-and-forth. This was my story yesterday, as it was. : ) I invite you to share your perspectives… to teach, release, and cleanse in order to invite more of the abundance of life within. Jai!
- Do you give to others freely and stall when it comes to your time, body, and space? Or does it come easily? If so, why?
- How does your self-care resemble or differ from that of your parents?
- What rituals help you come back into your *be*ing and tune in to what your body wants and needs?