hello. goodbye.

was a mantra of mine this summer. It is a self-crafted mantra to recall and appreciate the ever flowing river of life. It helps me remember the importance of letting go of everything. Even the things I wish to say hello to. Which, in my opinion, is the hardest act of free-will there is!

In the early hours of dawn today we experienced a full moon eclipse. Full moons and eclipses can accentuate energies to expose and release our egos. Maybe that is why I feel plagued with this today.

Upon rising this morning, a certain hopeful feeling that was planted in my heart recently had escaped me. All day I fought the sensation of letting go of it. I didn’t want to face the fact that my heart was pulling the reigns back in. I didn’t want to face that even though I long for certain things in my life that aren’t present right now, that my heart yearns for them more than I can convince myself, by way of my mind, that they are happening a particular way.

Truthfully I’m unsure how to find the healthy balance of dreaming/desiring/visualizing and accepting the lack of these “things.” I’m far too faithful not to dream and hold them in my heart as though they are already true- as in manifesting. But obviously, they aren’t in my material reality as of now. Yes, I realize that this is where my mantra could do me some good. But its not that easy to just get there- you have to walk there first. It takes steps… It takes, space and time.

I guess *that’s* what I’m fighting; The chasm between the experience that will be and where I am today. That grey, yet deep deep black sea of nothingness and everything called the now. The space and moment that is not separate from the future, yet has to be relatively disconnected from the past, so that we can align with our dreams.

Side note: ironic isn’t it that so many people refer to this abyss of pure potential as a sea and I’m noting the synchronistic event of the full moon eclipse and its effect on my “abyss-chasm.”

Obviously the past creates the present, yet if we hold on to past experiences, thoughts, behaviors, whathaveyou also known as samskara (http://swamij.com/karma.htm) which creates & is created by karma- if we hold these things to be true and foundational for the patterning of our futures we might as well give up. Which I realize, is so far easier said than done. But without a doubt, it is possible. All it takes is observation.

This particular eclipse is supposed to be favorable of letting go of mental habits. Join me in taking this opportunity to pay attention to what we tell ourselves about a n y t h i n g in our life. Especially the things that are the seeds of dreams and our heart’s greatest desires and what we’ll allow to be a barrier to them.

I’m taking this opportunity to release the ideas that those seeds need to look a particular way. I give up Universe. You win. My heart yearns for Truth and Love in a large way and there is no way I will not know when it is here. It obviously hasn’t yet fully blossomed, but the seed is growing. I planted it and nourish it and myself well. I believe in that ocean of potential and I believe in me.

There is far too much beauty within my heart to prevent me from anything less than a life full of love and deep connections, and ultimately the source of the true love within each blessed moment.

Jai!

* * *

Whenever I get to a point where I feel like I have to “give up” to the Universe, I think of this song:

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2 thoughts on “hello. goodbye.

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