7.23.12

What a day.

It started as most Mondays do for me; a little somber. The schedule my son’s father and I keep for now, gives me Saturday night and Sunday with Lucas. By the time Monday morning hits, I’m so attached to having him around, laughing with him, sharing him with family and friends that I’m sad to see him go. This morning was nothing less. I did my best to wade through the heaviness in my heart and enjoy my time getting him dressed, fed, and ready to go.

As most Mondays go, by the time I get downtown to do check-ins for a yoga class at Sage, I am in much better spirits. Which was definitely the case today as I knew I would be receiving a massage straight after doing my checkins from a woman that I highly regard as a bodyworker and massage therapist. She’s one of those people that you feel safe and loved with instantaneously. I am blessed to hear my clients say that about me, and I’m very glad to have someone I can go to like that, because I have a hard time trusting people. Its part of my journey into fully loving myself and others.

Since I was feeling so tender, I decided to share this with my friend. She walked me right into the center of my truth of my heart without effort and *flash!* the flood of my tears started. Well, some tears happened, but my heart was open and I was going to take full advantage of this opportunity to cleanse my heart space. I shared with her some recent shifts in my body, particularly my ankles and lower legs, that have been happening in my yoga practice that I am very excited about and are quite profound. Additionally they have radically enhanced my bodywork sessions with others as well. Because of this, I was hoping she would tend to my lower body (hips and below) to help bolster and support the opening of my heart. However, whether intentionally or not, she went right for the bulls-eye of my heart’s center.

I layed in the gorgeous, open space between white soft sheets facing down. Joyfully exhaling and coming into the moment and appreciating this woman with all of my heart. We have shared some very vulnerable spaces together and I trust her. I was so thankful to have her there for me today, knowing I did not have to get into my story with her and whatever it looked like, whatever I looked like, she would love and tend to me.

As she walked back into the space she started assessing my body with general compression and stretches. She lifted the sheet off of my back and dove right on in. I’m unsure of how much time she spent on my back, but it literally felt like she was removing layers and layers of protection and pain that I haven’t ever experienced so vividly during a massage. My mental awareness dropped down into my heart space and I saw images of my son’s father that morning. The way his hair and eyes looked and how I still love him. Yet in a beautifully painful way. I don’t believe we could ever be together again, but I do believe that I will never stop loving him.

Yesterday was a gift for what used to be my family of three. Following the Evolver Boise Locavore Potluck we had a few people together to do a fun-ride on our bikes. His father is a very active bike enthusiast/activist. His roommate was also there and I could tell how happy my son was that we were going on this mini parade where he knew and loved most of the people on their bikes. It really touched me because I want to give my son as much of a shared experience between his father and I as is humanly possible for a co-parenting situation. Because of this I choose to never stop admiring this man, which in turn could mean that I will end up with heartache on some level too. That’s ok with me. I had to wait until I graduated high-school for both sides of my family to have a meal together and I will never forget how happy I felt that day. It meant more to me than any of the gifts I received by far. It gave my heart what I yearned for and in its lack, created the protection that was being lifted away by the grace of one woman’s hands and heart.

As I lay on the massage table, visions of my ex from the night before, the familiarity of us riding bikes together, and just having him there to help when Lucas was getting too far out of my sight made me tender inside. Tears started flowing and I welcomed them, yet I could feel them wanting to take over the show and make myself cry uncontrollably. Maybe that would help, but the issue of my nose starting to run while face down put the kibosh on that and I simply rose up, wet-face and all and asked for some tissue.

As she continued with the treatment and moved to different areas of my body, the intensity waned. Yet, I never stopped tearing through out the whole session. My body felt like it was taken over by apathy and I was completely broken and numb. I know that between my mother and grandmother’s grief and loss stored in their DNA, which makes up my own, coupled with my grief from missing the both of them immensely, and more recently losing a nuclear family, I usually have a large weight of pain in my chest that keeps me guarded and distant. Truthfully, I doubt that if it weren’t for trusting this beautifully radiant woman and healer, to walk with me through it, I would’ve never seen the other side of the mountain today.

I left feeling keenly aware, exposed and raw. I knew how I needed tend to myself: water, good food, quiet space, meditation, and allowing my tears to flow. Still, I wanted distraction so I… tweeted. I went to twitter and read what the world was up to. One person I follow had begun tweeting some “conspiracy” tweets about the Aurora shootings. I was thankful to read them, merely because I had opened that can of worms on my feed the night before and I was hoping I wasn’t just being paranoid. But seeing @stopbeingfamous’ insight, I felt some sort of reassurance.

Yet, reassurance for what?! The Fk’d up situations of the world. As I continued upon my social media distraction train I landed on facebook. A very wise teacher of mine who lives in Colorado had posted a beautiful status about the community she shares and what they were doing on a particular day. She interwove the recent tragedies in a way of gracefully transitioning how we handle dark-energies and nurture them into loving ways. I absolutely adored her status, yet she also pointed towards a lack of community being the cause- neighbors not knowing each other well enough to notice odd behavior of a sociopath… ie kevlar suits, and probably ridiculous amounts of ammo and whatnot.

Reading this struck my “I can’t keep my mouth shut any more chord.” Not that I needed to speak out against what she said, but to the level of possibility that it is beyond this one man’s actions. Shortly thereafter my “status” became:

I forewarn you, this is 100% my opinion and experience. I share it because I can’t help but voice myself, my heart is breaking and my body is angry. Many people know that there were very select powers in charge that calculated tragic events to obtain their agenda. (Pearl Harbor & Sept 11th.) I fully believe in the POWER of the 99%/100% yet the 1% is scared shitless right now imho. It is highly possible, in a world where corrupt power has dominated through fear, force and aggression, that the recent events in Colorado were not just the actions and motives of just one man. I don’t bring this up to be all anti-government/”those” powers. I bring it up so that we can pay close attention to what comes out of this, particularly any laws to take away rights from our citizens. These laws and this fear needs to be nonviolently rejected, in my humble opinion. I know I can be an intensely passionate person, but I see that this level of peaceful, nonviolent protest needs to happen on every level of humanity in local communities. I feel and see the importance of coming together and create a better future- nonGMO, Earth-based consumerism, power, and manufacture. I’ve just had enough… its time to redesign. Oh, did I mention, NOW!? Thank you for allowing this space to rant Facebook/FBI, I don’t give a fuck.

With an addendum quickly following to ask that “ALL beings be free of suffering. Om mani padme hum.” I felt so much better after I wrote it, yet the magic came when I sat down on my yoga mat in order to let the sadness flow through me.

I cried.
I cried hard.
For the first time since my son was born, or maybe even conceived, I did not cry because of a personal story, wound, or because of my ancestor’s stories. I cried for the Earth. She told me that because I channel her for reiki (Mother Earth has been my reiki guide since 2002 which was well before I was a full-born Earth loving hippie or even accepted the concept.) that I also can channel her pain and she needed me to. I let my mouth drop open, I looked as though I was a woman in labor, moaning and rocking and crying in the truth of my pain. In these moments, I knew I was not at fault. I knew I had done nothing wrong. I knew that it was beautiful and I just needed to cry for her. Cry for all of the pain, known and unknown, on this planet. That since I have now chosen the additional role as an active member of Evolver that I have ownership of the world’s plight. Yet it isn’t going to break me. I just needed to morn for the collective. So I did.
It felt good.

I also received more confirmation, that we are experiencing a shortening of karma, which is also known as the quickening of time. I believe, and this internal vision/communication with spirit reinforced me, that the “next dimension” we are embarking upon is a melding of the material and spirit world. For many, this has already happened, and for others it will come. In this process, we are becoming more divine-like. Meaning, there is not once the “hierarchy” between the mortal man and angels, ascended masters, and guides. One reason why it is so imperative for us to tend to our physical bodies via food, exercise, and complimentary health systems is because we are going to have this union take effect regardless and when we aren’t in a high vibrational state, we are going to get our asses kicked much sooner than later.

So after I had a delicious slice of quiche and iced coffee, I went to work to do a couple of reiki-massage treatments. My first session was with someone who I have a special bond with. She’s been coming to me for at least 4 years, I have attuned her to reiki, and been her very own yoga-teacher in private sessions in her home. In 2011, shortly after my first visitations from Babaji Krishna & Jesus (one case of the thinning of the veil, the thinning of the hierarchal grid– greater access to ancient wisdoms.) I gave her a treatment and saw very clear images of DNA cords turning into ropes to assist her in a 3-dimensional space in her ascension process. This lead to revelations with the image of a cross overlaying the body, and the notion of forgiveness and trust in the body. As well as liberating our throat in the collective ascension process. The visualizations were much more elegant than I chose to give them in this post, but will share in more detail one day.

What was so special about our session today was this open, raw space between us that the healing in my heart had created. We established trust through sharing stories of the melding of spirit in our everyday worlds. We talked about the gifts we have both been receiving through the message of trust, which just so happened to be the angel card left out (not by me) on the shelf upon arriving to work that day, see below.

Angel cards at H'Jae Mama Healing Arts

Angel cards at H’Jae Mama Healing Arts

Trust is the main message of light-energy and ascension, that is to say, obtaining Christ(light)-like embodiments and living like true gods and goddesses in shared love, appreciation of life, and harmony with nature instead of fearing wrath and impending doom.

Today was a loaded day to say the least. One that took me back to the chosen role of healer of humanity. I had intentionally shut-off from the whole in my “initiation” process because everything had become too overwhelming for me. I needed my pregnancy to be about new life and love, I needed my first year postpartum to figure out myself as a mother and partner, and then I needed the following year to figure myself out as a single-mother. Which has bled into beyond a year and I am thankful for the commitment that I made to myself in my healing journey to sit with all of it and not mask it in any way. I have done a LOT of work. I feel like my healing treatment today took me through the “last stages” of sorrow and loss of relationship into an funnel for the Earth’s pain, and that I was a passing through a portal into a new, awakened, community-activated, human and humanitarian. One that I have been before, but never as a strong, capable, single mother.

Jai!

***

This evening on facebook Evolver posted a link to http://lawoftime.org/rainbow-bridge/rainbow-bridge-is-universal-peace.html which I found to be a blessed mark of the path in which to take this new level of awareness and concern. ❤

Waves lapping

Aside

my warm heart slowly melting golden,
dripping down to the ground.
A tree, my Self,
softening and sapping.

Yellow, orange, amber
rolling down, down, closer to the ground
into one another. Blending with
light, sight and your eyes.

Waves lapping,
ocean of time
beyond my mind and
in my breath.

Ardha Chandrasana,
a balancing waxing/waning moon.

Butterfly wing,
heart kisses.
Eyes of my child
fasten my root to earth.

And to my infinite mother
thank you.

“the breath inside the breath.”

“God is the breath inside of the breath.” This symbolizes the importance of having sthira and sukha in our breath and lives. Strength and firmness alongside grace and ease. When the breath is steady and easy, we are probably doing pretty well at aligning ourselves with spirt and finding union (yoga.)

Photo used under CC. http://www.flickr.com/photos/explorethebruce/5373529610/

During this special time of year as we enter into winter’s darkness and light continues to slip away until the solstice, we can easily stoke our fires with community, and even better by community in action together. Of course, another name for that would be yoga! Or life in union & action. [disclaimer: of course a yogi would note that action can also be inaction.] ; )

I was re-inspried by the word commUnity lately. By the acts of my friends, family and our collective works to occupying the world from the place of our hearts. COMMerce + UNITY = COMMUNITY! Together alone is the way to becoming 100% occupied. In unity we create so much more, by showing up and giving something we have. I am amazed by the generosity of friends this holiday season as they have been donating much needed items to me and Bubs to keep us warm and happy this winter. Thank you friends that have been doing that for me. I love you all infinitelyyyyyyy!

I’ve received many blessings in the past week that I wouldn’t have imagined months ago and my heart has been breaking open with gratitude! In the darkness that I am finding myself in this season, a sweet pure energy flows up and through from an abundant source and it inspires me to share that flame with you.

For starters I’d like to join in breath and then slowly explore space with our bodies to d a n c e in y/our breath and bones with me and our good friends, sthira & sukha in yoga asana practice… or on the dance floor. I plan on visiting them both as much as possible this winter.

I have been enjoying some new yogic inspiration that is begging me to play a little in my practice. I’ve been plotting and playing in asana for my yoga classes. Which just so happens to bring about a lot of dancing around with Bubs in our living room too. : ) They’re super good times!

Come join if you can and if not, I will see your shine there instead. Namaste~*!

Yoga: Next Monday only at 10 am at Sage Yoga & Wellness & every Wednesday at 9:30 at Body Renew on Vista!

Jai!

Give, Receive, and Repeat.

I recently had an epiphany. I realized, what I already knew; that it is my deepest desire to share my heart with the world. This is not anything ground-breakingly-new for me. Yet, my ah-ha, was that I could easily just start today, by writing.

I am so lucky to have the most fascinating “job” where I continually learn from the opportunity of connecting to another person on my massage table. It is truly a gift.

For many years I was so excited to call myself a massage therapist when I when I first began, but now I see massage as a very limited term and perspective of what I call my heart’s art: healing arts.

I have been applying the art and science of reiki in my life now for 8 years, and as a “Master” in the last 3. Reiki practioners have 3 levels in which their knowledge and experience deepen; master is the highest level.  Yet, it hasn’t been until now that I fully embrace the wisdom and information given to me through this medium, as much as I would a physical cue from a person’s body, such as a bruise.

Energy is information. This is definitely not my own revelation, but that of Einstein and other great physicists and scientists as well. When I am gifted the opportunity to connect by placing my hands on a person, or standing in the room with them as they talk- or don’t talk, and even just by the permission and request of someone I may have never met on the other side of the country; my mind gets a bucket-full of insights dumped right on its head. Just like the old prank of leaving a bucket full of confetti for someone to walk right under, pouring it all over them and the room!

I “see” what a person is holding or carrying, and the beauty of it, is that there is never, I repeat never, anything “wrong” with what their body is telling me. It is continually in flux. It is an ever-changing process. Sure, some aspects are more ingrained, but overall, it is highly plastic and thus, a changeable system. Which is why I find it so fascinating to explore and feel that it is imperative for us all to learn more about. We can seriously, change our worlds with this knowledge!

This information, is not “mine” to hold. It is not something special that only I have the ability to benefit from or explain to you. You have all the power and ability to explore these concepts yourself. It is a long road, because it is a subtle system. Yet we all, already have our vocabulary for understanding… the goosebumps when you witness a miracle, the feeling in the pit of your stomach, the ache in your heart, the voice in your head. I know you know this system, yet I know, we all can explore it evermore.

This summer, I am hereby embarking upon a new project. For me, summer is often a slower period of time as people tend to enjoy the season in nature, and therefore need less pain and stress-reducing treatments. This freedom of time will allow for me to share more seeds of wisdom I receive and experience through my reiki and bodywork treatments in this blog. I will always disguise the personal information & or the timing in which I share it for ethical reasons. Yet, I believe that the information that I give and receive is meant to share for us all, as I find that it comes to me in cyclical waves where we are all feeling and manifesting a personalized experience of a collective energy flow.

In addition to sharing these gifts I am bestowed, I am putting it out there to share my heart’s arts via massage, reiki, and yoga to any and all who wish to receive it. For the summer months, for those in need, I am going to offer sliding scales on a per person basis. All you have to do is talk to me and together, we will determine a fair currency exchange for our shared experience. This of course covers all of the services I have always given. However, I am putting the call out to create personalized yoga for anyone who wishes to receive it.

In my new studies of yoga, I find myself mapping out postures for whomever is on  my table and what their body would benefit from. I also tend to connect meditation practices, or breath-work for a cohesive healing experience. Often before they’re even off the massage table.

The more I learn and practice reiki and yoga, I feel as though it needs to be a part of my everyday massage practice. Otherwise, I truly am just brushing the surface. Which does have its place, but I would love to help you make more radical changes in your life, if you are seeking them.

So, what does all of this mean exactly? 

  • Subscribe to my blog to keep up with Universal insights I share to inspire and assist!
  • Given your goals and resources, contact me so that together we will create a custom experience of massage, reiki, and yoga at a cost that makes it a sustainable experience for you this summer.
  • I am offering one-on-one reiki attunements. This will allow YOU to perform reiki on yourself, loved ones, plants, and animals. Raise your vibration for greater health, happiness, and quicken the manifestation of your heart’s desires. Don’t live in Boise? No problem! Reiki energy is everywhere and I can raise your vibration remotely and send you a pdf workbook! For anyone I attune, I am always available as a “reiki mentor” to guide and assist you in whatever way you need. Attunements are on a sliding scale from $80-$200. Pay what you can, and what you perceive its value to be of to you.

And lastly, I’d like to share this video of inspiration that I found today. I am thrilled at how many people I am connecting with on the internet that are embodying the Truths that my heart know to be true and sharing them passionately. Gabrielle Bernstein hit a home-run for me in this video I found this afternoon.

Jai!

A Recent Epiphany

Just a few days ago, I had a revelation, thanks to one of my clients. She gave me the gift of “Ah-ha!” while I gave her the gift of “Ahhhhh!” I felt ultimate gratification and joy for my profession. I get to help others and continually take my knowledge and understanding of massage, bodywork, and the mind-body connection to higher levels. It is a beautiful gift that we give each other, the “client” and myself and I hope to share it with you one day. But first, I’d like to talk to you about how my consciousness was first touched by these gifts of touch.

I was ten when my family moved into the foothills. My father built a house and we had enough land to keep our horses with us as well. I recall watching my Dad shoe our horses and as he walked around the horse, he kept his hand on the horse’s hip. I asked why and my Father said that it helped the horse know where he was at, since he couldn’t see behind him. This way he could feel my Dad’s movement and the horse would not get frightened. At that moment, I realized that touch communicates, that it builds trust, and a sense of safety.

It wasn’t much long after that I got wise enough to start using the skills I had started to acquire to earn a little bit of money. My brother loved getting his back scratched and rubbed. He often got sunburns and I would keep his back well-hydrated for him with aloe or lotion. After becoming annoyed with his constant requests for these favors, and my lack of funds for the candy machine at school, I decided to charge him ten cents a minute for these services. Not long after, my sister caught wind and sure enough, I was giving her foot massages & exploring foot reflexology for TCBY or jewelry.

Back then, five minutes made me feel like I was a slave to my brother’s back. But in my boredom, my fingers got curious. I can faintly remember the moment: “You mean it hurts here? When I push like-” “Ow, yeah, right there!” My brother asserted, interrupting my question. “Hmm, interesting. I can feel it in here. Under your skin, your muscles feel really tight, hard, and lumpy in that spot.”

Many years later I started deepening my understanding of muscle tension through relationships in the body. I was fortunate to get my massage education from The Institute of Massage Therapy in New Jersey. The founder of my school received her education from a very prestigious institution in New York City- The Swedish Institute. She had horror stories of what the students had to endure to pass tests and the New York State licensing to practice massage therapy.

This of course, was a valuable benefit to me for she passed this knowledge on to us and our exploration of therapeutic massage included not only what certain conditions felt like in the body, but the relationship, the yin-yang of the body and how, when out of balance this creates pain.

Three main factors that I have now spoken of heavily influenced my epiphany: 1. Communication 2. Reading sensation in the body to uncover “the mystery.” 3. Relationships.

Granted, these are factors that influence cascading realizations ten times over, but what makes this particular epiphany so special is the first factor, communication. For communication in its most naked form is an exchange of information. When someone comes to see me for massage, I of speak with them to gain information first, but much more information is given to me when I am able to explore and “read” their body with my hands. I read the sensations which then lead me to the relationships, a cause and effect if you will between muscles, tendons, and ligaments. However, when someone comes to see me for bodywork, specifically Reiki, I explore the body’s communication as a sensation of flow. The closest association if this is your first time thinking of energy flow, is visualizing how water flows. Energy can flow through the body very rapidly, if one area is very “open” or another could flow very sluggish if there is stagnancy or as I often say, congestion.

Typically when I am sought out as a Reiki practitioner, I have some time to discuss the session with my client after to let them know what sensations or imagery I experienced during the session. During these times I rarely discuss overly contracted muscle patterns or give stretching or strengthening homework and this is because I have been paid to explore the body’s communication through the energetic language, not the physical. Even though, they do indeed go hand in hand.

What I found to be so imperative for this particular epiphany to occur is that my “client” (I use quotations because I am not 100% favorable of this word but do not have any other to use) asked me to do massage with her typical reiki session that day. Since we had less time than I would typically do a massage with reiki I offered a suggestion for the most simplistic yet effective massage techniques to be layered with reiki.

To speed the story along, I will just say this: It was as if I had two complete, fully functional brains that through the application of a “new language” they synergistically evolved into a new super-human double brain! Words cannot describe the awe that I had stumbled into. At the same time that this “super-human double brain” happened it was a no-brainer as well. For one, I was not seeking it out so it naturally lead itself to discovery, and the adage to take the “path of least resistance” comes to mind. I was using the least amount of force to receive the highest amount of gain. I accessed her deepest levels of tension and in no way was it painful for her nor did my body feel any sort of fatigue whatsoever!

This process could have felt rushed, in fact, it should have. She wanted massage to relieve serious muscle tension in her hips from a 3 hr mountain bike ride the day previous along with reiki for only an hour. Let me tell you this, releasing muscle tension in the hips and legs through massage can easily take an hour all by itself. Yet, we had the sensation of all the time in the world and she felt as if it was the most indulgent session she’d ever had with me, and possibly ever and I felt as if I did all she wanted, and more. She shared with me after the fact that she previously would visit a physical therapist to put a rib back into place and it was often a painful process yet I did it for her that day effortlessly (and without any knowledge on my part) and it did not hurt her one bit.

I am really excited about this experience because it inspires me to do so much more for my clients. It also does not have to take away from the massage experience that my clients have come to be accustomed to, in fact if anything, I believe it will make them feel as though their body had its own newfound epiphany.

If you are in the Boise area, I would love to share my new/old skills as a Reiki Massage Therapist with you. I would also love the opportunity to talk to you on a deeper level about Reiki and will be offering workshops in the near future. Please contact me at heidipuckett@gmail.com or 919-0391 to schedule. For the month of November, my 60 minute Epiphany Reiki Massage will only cost you $50, $10 off the regular price.

Thank you so much N for this experience, and for the last year of getting to know you, your body, and our infinitely wondrous world together. 🙂