I am a big tweeter these days. I love the fact that I don’t pay attention to news online, or via a TV yet, I hear of wikileaks bail, DADT repealed, and countless health updates (not paid for by corporate giants) every day on my phone. What I love even more, is the fact that I can connect with other people who are conscious and get it! All day long people are posting tweets on philosophy, spirituality, motherhood, birth, and so much more! I can follow my favorite authors and those that I have just discovered yet seek the time to dig into like Bruce Lipton and Daniel Pinchbeck specifically. Hey, if I can’t read a book of theirs due to a lack of time, maybe I can be so lucky to get a snip-it of their wisdom in 140 characters or less!
Yet, today, I was super ecstatic based off of someone’s tweet that I didn’t think I could trust whole heartedly- and shouldn’t. But someone else, an elder in my community that I am lucky to work closely with, told me the same bunk information. If you’re a friend of mine on facebook or twitter, you are probably already aware of it. Guess what folks, there has been lunar eclipses on a winter’s solstice since 33AD! Lol.
For the last 3 or 4 years, I have been using the solstice as a kick-off to the “Holy Midnights of Winter” to connect with dream-space and set intention. Since I began, I have come to know myself, my dreams, and my process of manifestation much more intimately. This way, I literally make my waking-dreams come true. For many, the solstice is seen as a point to reflect and begin thinking anew, as if it were the actual time to set “new year” resolutions.
I have already written a letter of intention, yet it doesn’t quite feel like I’ve reached completion yet. But I would like to share with you what I feel is the “bottom line” to manifesting everything that will end up on my so called final draft. And maybe the key to understanding manifestation, at any time of year.
Self-Organization.
It seems like a pretty simple concept at first glance, yet thanks to one of the people I follow on Twitter, I have begun to look at it in a whole new light. Courtesy of “@metamorphoptics” : ‘Self-organization is non-dual; whole and part, one and many, are united processes of dynamic multilevel becoming.’ Its a beautiful thought. I like to think that I have been effecting the whole by my “little” acts in organizing my little space and self.
Probably because I have been in a process of self-organization for a few years now by transforming my home and all the stuff I carry along with it. Since I became the matriarch in my family at the age of 26, I have collected a lot of stuff that I don’t really need. I have paid for storage, and have rented houses beyond my means just to have enough space to keep it all.
I also reached a breaking point after 3 years of duty with health & welfare on my Mom’s medicaid behalf, monthy bills for my mother and me, working two jobs (to pay for my house big enough to keep all my crap) and taking classes at BSU. After this breaking point(s), I started using denial as a coping mechanism. I just avoided bills until the last possible minute to pay them, mail was stacked in piles constantly, and then it grew to take over almost a room in my house. SERIOUSLY! It was out of control. Granted, when you come to my house now, you’ll still see some mail and crap in piles on just about every surface. [Not for long!] But that’s it. There is no secret stash, and I think for having the distraction of my son now added into the mix, its a blessing that I’ve come this far.
Which leads me right into my why its so important to continuing to take care of my own self-organization and minimizing the crap and clutter of my life. Not just for the whole of the planet, but I would never wish my crap onto my child once I’m gone. EVER.
My mother has been one of the greatest loves of my life, yet without any doubt, she has also been the largest burden of my life. I forgive her. She didn’t think about how much of a burden her crap could potentially be for me one day. Especially out of the blue as her strokes happened to her- us.
***My goal is for my child’s life to be as burden-free, for as long as I possibly can. I wish that he does not know grief and burden as intimately as I do or did before I was even 30 years old. I chose to take care of myself for myself and my son. I want to live as long as possible, in a healthy, loving, peaceful, fun home.***
When I pass… hopefully long from now, I want there to be next to nothing to sort through. I do not want my life to be measured by the artifacts that it came in contact with. Some yes, yet not many. Definitely no storage units, or garage packed full. Definitely not a basement with boxes that haven’t been opened in years… Like I do now, that in the next few weeks will be dusted off and burned through. Literally.
In closing,
I wish you all a blessed solstice and sweet dreams during the holy nights of midwinter!
Jai!
H'Jae Mama! 